"I began to attend GP classes in the ***** area two years ago or more. I was made to feel very welcome and soon began to attend day courses and pujas at the ****** centre. Within months I was attending festivals at ****** and trying to do as much practice as possible. 6 months later I was encouraged to begin FP which I found very hard because of the pressure not to miss any classes - I am a teacher and often had school commitments - and to learn the outlines. When I got upset about this I was told I should work harder, put more time in attend more courses etc.
The festival in Singapore was on the horizon and it seemed to be suggested that the only way to progress fully was to attend in order to receive tantric empowerment. The fact that I could not get time off work was seen as my choice - I could leave that job and get another etc.
I felt increasingly concerned about NKT practices - particularly the hushed tones that met any reference to HHDL, the emphasis on Dorje Shugden and the absence of any other texts. When I mentioned reading other books it was a real tumbleweed moment.
I had been taking Prozac for depression but illness and medication were often ridiculed in teachings and I tried hard to stop taking anything which led to a further bout of illness. Since leaving I have established a lower dose in addition to my practice which seems to be a good compromise!
I left a year ago because I felt I needed to be around for my family. This was met by a coldness that shocked me. I was not encouraged to continue with any practice - I had fallen off their ideal path and was no longer useful
I have now begun to study the FBT course with Jamyang. I can read widely, think outside the box, disagree, practise with an open mind and an open heart!!!! I thank Buddha that the NKT led me to this true path now